- Djinous Rowling
Good morning! TGIF and Happy Weekend! I’m sorry I haven’t been around the last couple of weeks, it’s been a combination of being deathly sick (for about the millionth time this year, I’m close to ending it all) and being extra busy/time pressured at work. It’s getting springy and the wind seems to be backing off at the moment, it’s not deathly freezing all the time so life is good! The celebrity world has been pretty exciting this week so let’s get started.
Kate Nippleton. Ha ha ha. See that? I thought about that one walking to work. So Kate Middleton went to France with Prince William and got her boobies out for some sunbathing. Some creepy paparazzi took the blurriest photos of her ever and you can see that she is ACTUALLY a woman with boobs and nipples and everything. They sued the magazine that originally published them and the photos are “not allowed” anywhere now but obviously the internet still exists. We’ve pretty much seen everything now. William’s willy, Harry’s bum and Kate’s boobs.
Beyoncé and Jay Z are pals with Obama. This isn’t news, but this photo is excellent. The world is weird. Not saying that Jay Z isn’t worthy of Obama’s time, I don’t know the guy, but Jay Z isn’t even a real name. And he used to be a drug dealer. I love it. Can you imagine if Bush was hanging out with Jay Z?
Lindsay Lohan was arrested… again. This girl is a lost cause. There’s nothing more to say really. I don’t understand everyone’s continuing fascination with her further than marvelling at a mess. She is the epitome of a drag.
A couple of days before, a highlight reel of an interview of Dina Lohan by Dr Phil was released. She seems like she is drunk or stoned and is rude and weird and awkward and I love watching people be awful but this made me cover my face with my hands. It is SO bad.
Amanda Bynes got in trouble…. again. Or maybe her license just got revoked (fucking. finally.). She is now going around telling people she is doing “amazing”. I love how she always mentions that she’s a retired actor. Bitch plz. This all makes me wonder if it should be illegal to be child stars. WHO HAS TURNED OUT NORMAL? And obviously she is starting up a clothing line. Obviously.
This made me angrier than it should. I don’t know why anyone cares about Paris Hilton/if anyone still cares about Paris Hilton/why I am even writing about Paris Hilton anyway. Once Paris Hilton told the world she thought black guys were gross, and now she’s giving the world her opinion on gay guys. “Ewww! Eww. To get fucked? Gay guys are the horniest people in the world.... I would be so scared if I were a gay guy. You'll like, die of AIDS” Click here to listen to the recording.
Pearls of wisdom if I ever heard them. There’s not much to say about all this except mention her gross un-sexy night vision sex tape and remember that she’s a fucking moron.
Everyone was talking about Macaulay Culkin being on the super bad shit aka heroin a while back and now everyone’s talking about his Art Collective. I know nothing about anything but most of all art, but when I saw some of the things he and the two others in the collective had done, I actually liked it. Click here to see a selection of his paintings.
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are being gross all over New York City.
Monica Lewinsky has allegedly been offered a 12 million dollar book deal to disclose every single detail of her sexual relations with Bill Clinton. Uh oh.
Shakira is having a baby.
Ke$ha has a new album coming out, it looks gross. As in she looks gross. As usual. I was actually starting to forget about her…. Pity.
Lady Gaga did a show in Amsterdam and smoked some weed on stage that one of her fans gifted her. Obviously the world is making a big deal of this.
Speaking of weed, Snoop Dogg- (sorry. Snoop Lion. I hate saying Snoop Lion. Bring back Snoop Dogg!) smokes weed with his son Cordell. People are making a big deal of this as well. I’m not. I was kind of like… “Duh”.
I want to end with some cuteness! Kim Kardashian has brought teacup Persian kitten and even though she has a weird angry Persian cat face she is prettaaaay cute. She named her “Mercy” after the Kanye West song which is kind of cringe but also kind of cute. You could call that kitten anything and it would be cute.
Have a good weekend everyone! And if you don’t have plans for Saturday come to Bad Girls Club at DOC bar! Birthday edition. Will be a fun time.