I have disliked Blake Lively without reason for so long she has almost become a non-existent character on the scale of Things That Irk Me. Sure her voice is problematic - why does she insist on clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth - and as Serena Van Der Woodsen her constant scheming and freneming are really starting to grind my gears (although surprisingly less than Vanessa at the moment - why would you steal Dan's novel, why) but she has, apart from a couple of wardrobe malfunctions, never done anything overtly offensive. Until now.
Firstly, as we have previously recounted, she is dating Leonardo DiCaprio. We prematurely made that call with hope-laced clarion calls to the 'taste' and 'intelligence' of the former Romeo, but suspicions were confirmed loudly and clearly with a staged-looking (please let this be the case) picturesque image of the two, holding hands, walking down a French hotel boulevard, no less.
And the French, one in particular, must be rolling in her grave. I know that Karl Lagerfeld had a soft spot for Lively, but I assumed that revolved around the facts that firstly, she made pleasantly frivolous (yet constant) conversation allowing gaze and attention to wander to his own reflection in the mirror over her shoulder, and secondly, she looks good in clothes. NOT because he thought she was representative of the younger, edgier market he is attempting to coax into two piece suits and an abundance of fur. Have you not seen The Town? Her performance as an alcoholic call girl was passable simply because it more closely resembled her personality than an Upper East Side trust-funder. I know you want to hit the street Karl, but I didn't think you meant literally.
Which brings me to my final point, a NSFW ditty that reveals the naked truth beneath the previous points and Lively's personality. Nude photographs for publicity. Feebly posed, iPhone-shot, nude photographs. Blake, if you're going to embark on a viral porn show at least entertain us. Leo. Karl. This will not stand.
Comments
comments powered by Disqus