Hi, I’m Jamie, and when I’m not eating I like to judge people. I’m going to round up the best (Ryan Gosling all day everyday) and worst (everyone else) in celebrity fashion every week. Because why say something nice when you have something mean to say - this is the internet after all. It might make your eyes hurt, but at least we’ll be in it together.
Usually I’ll just stick to what has happened in the past week, but seeing as this is my first outing I have picked my favourite faux pas from the past month.
First up, everybody’s favourite train wreck time bomb - Lindsay Lohan. She hauled ass over to Europe, first visiting Milan, before moving on to Paris for Fashion Week, and has been bringing the sad LOLs since she arrived. My favourite moment occurred in Milan, when she stepped out wearing a black dress with a big patch of white powder on her thigh.
Now, that stain could be anything – powdered sugar from a doughnut, talcum powder, foundation setting powder – but come on, where are her people? How did not one person say ‘COME ON LINDSAY, THIS SHIT IS NOT ON’ And, more importantly, how is her publicist going to top the “it was just a bag of crystals her ‘pal’ had bought her from a shop down the street" explanation they used last time?
Chloe Green depresses the hell out of me. Your dad owns Topshop! He is worth EIGHT POINT TWO BILLION DOLLARS! You are friends with Kate Moss! SO WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DRESS LIKE TRASH? WHY DO YOU INSIST ON DATING REALITY TV ‘STARS’? Anyway, she was at the Topshop Unique show at London Fashion Week, and as usual, wore something expensive but ugly. Extreme privilege is wasted on her.
Tennessee Thomas, of twee girl band ‘The Like’ fame, attended the launch of Alexa Chung’s second line for Madewell wearing an outfit from the range:
I don’t care who designed it, it looks likes you are wearing men’s silky pyjamas. This is not ‘girls dressing like boys’ trendy. You look silly. Don’t believe the hype.
Anne Hathaway attended a private art auction in West Hollywood:
The caption described Anne’s hat as “unique”. I would like to revise that to “ugly as hell”. Seriously. What is that thing? Apparently the auction was raising funds to benefit seriously ill children. I wish she had thought of the children before she got dressed.
BEST DRESSED BABE(S) OF THE MONTH:
Hannah has already lauded Ryan Gosling’s beautiful olive suit, so I have forced myself to pick someone else this week. This will probably not happen again. Here are the Olsen Twins looking shiny and clean at the dW by Kanye West show at Paris Fashion Week (which is another troubling matter altogether). I have loved them since high school, when I spent hours every week printing out paparazzi photos of every outfit they wore and gluing them into an old exercise book, and I will love them forever.