Sometimes RSS

ARE YOU A JERK...ZOOEY DESCHANEL?

— Posted on 13.01.2012

I know, its like: “adorable puppy: are you a jerk?”

Although I might be crossing this website’s editorial line in the sand by saying it, I don’t think Zooey is a jerk. However, in writing and attempting to research this article I have discovered that I am really ambivalent  (almost to the point of being completely uninterested) about her, so what follows is a rather listless argument for Zooey Deschanel’s status as Not A Jerk:

Have you read this? It’s not jerky. She’s articulate and seems like a normal type of person.  I only read the first couple of pages (irresponsibly, lazy “journalism” on my part, I know), so maybe she becomes jerkish later on.

I think she has a nice voice; it’s deep and home-y. The music she makes suits it. It doesn’t really suit me, but it doesn’t make her a jerk.  I like that she sang Star Spangled Banner at the World Series completely straight, with no wibbly-wobbly vocal gymnastics:

Remember Elf? Zooey Deschanel was so charming in Elf! I saw this really awful Sarah Jessica Parker movie a few years ago, in which Zooey played her improbably younger, quirky roommate, and she was totally the best thing about it. Evidence:

Her other non-annoying film credits include Almost Famous, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Drunk History, and Weeds. She was even in Bones (best procedural crime drama of our time?), probably because her sister was on it, which I think is nice.

All of the dudes who I consulted before writing this said that she was absolutely NOT a jerk and how could I even suggest such a thing. Look at those big blue eyes! The perfect hair! I kind of like that she’s reached this level of piping-hot babedom without having to go against her natural inclination for twee dresses and black opaques. It’s refreshing?

All that being said, I tried to watch her new show, The New Girl, and found it really, really intolerable. Her character, Jess, is klutzy and “adorkable”, and watching the pilot made me wince, a lot. Our friend The Internet tells me that it gets better, but I don’t know if I can go back there, I don’t want to get wince-wrinkles. Hello Giggles illicits a similar reaction, mostly because it is called “Hello Giggles”.  The scene in 500 Days of Summer when she’s like “I like The Smiths” and he’s like “You like The Smiths?” is just awful. Her current level of total penetration of basically every single entertainment media platform is wearisome. I have Deschanel fatigue. Perhaps we all do. But it doesn’t make her a jerk.

Comments

comments powered by Disqus

SCI NON FI - COSMIC WAVES

— Posted 09.04.2014

13.8 billion years..

SCI NON FI - THE BIG BANG

— Posted 02.04.2014

OMFG.

SCI NON FI - WHY IS THE OCEAN SALTY?

— Posted 20.03.2014

Salty dogs.